It is said that the two Chinese characters for "crisis" mean both "danger" and "opportunity". When a life event like caregiving lands like a bomb, it initially feels more like the danger element. However, by asking the right questions, the derailment can put you on a powerful new path of opportunity. For me at age 43, the bomb was when my mother, who I had been avoiding since I was 14, came to live near me. The quality of my questions were suddenly critical to my emotional survival.

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